How to Win Friends and Influence People
By: Dale Carnegie
In emergency management, we often focus heavily on plans, checklists, and logistics, and for good reason. However, if we’re honest, some of the biggest challenges we face during a crisis have less to do with resources and more to do with people. The relationships we build, the way we communicate with others, and how we lead when things get tough, those are the real make-or-break factors. That’s where this book holds immense value for us.
Please get to know people before you need them. It’s easy to stay in our “lanes” with our heads down until something goes wrong, but in our world, that can be costly. If you’ve taken the time to grab coffee with your fire chief or check in with a community leader before the next storm or wildfire, you’ll have trust earned and saved up when it counts.
People are much more likely to commit to a plan if they have a hand in creating it. Whether you're collaborating with another agency or a group of volunteers, inviting their input and making room for their ideas fosters genuine buy-in. Instead of barking out orders, it’s often better to ask, “What do you think would work best here?” and shape the solution together.
We can’t forget how powerful recognition can be, and how often it gets overlooked in chaos. Whether it’s a quick thank-you after a long shift or a shoutout during a debrief, a few words of appreciation can go a long way. People remember how they’re treated in hard times, and showing gratitude helps keep them motivated for the next challenge.
Emergencies bring stress, frustration, and conflict. But disagreeing tactfully is one of the most important skills we can develop. Instead of shutting people down, we can stay curious. “That’s an interesting idea,” or “Let’s talk more about that,” opens the door to collaboration, even when we don’t agree. We all want to feel heard, especially during a crisis.
Leading with empathy is essential. When someone is upset, tensions are high, or when a survivor feels scared and angry, it is beneficial to pause and ask ourselves, “What are they going through right now?” Sometimes, just listening and saying “I hear you” can be more impactful than any formal response plan.
In an emergency, it’s not enough to give people facts. We must speak their language and show them we understand what’s at stake for them. Clear, positive, and focused messaging makes people feel supported. Instead of saying, “Don’t panic,” try, “Here’s what you can do right now to stay safe.” People want hope, direction, and reassurance, not just information.
Sometimes we get it wrong. When that happens, owning our mistakes quickly and sincerely builds credibility. The public doesn’t expect perfection; they expect honesty. Saying, “We made a mistake, and here’s what we’re doing to fix it,” earns a lot more trust than covering it up or dodging responsibility.
This book reminds us that people rise to the expectations we set for them. If you say, “This community always pulls together,” or “I’ve seen your team lead with heart during tough times,” people will want to live up to that. Inspiring action through respect and belief in others is way more effective than pressure or fear.